The Society
Contents:
1.A Preview
Society, the enclosure
around us that we can't see, but can only feel. Its texture depends on who is
touching it and in what stage of his/her life the person is in.
The Society is thought of as an unknown
force that limits your doings and it sets norms on what it sees as
ethical and sets punishments on things that are unethical or
not-allowed.
At different stages of a person's life,
he/she views the Society differently, with different shades on. You might be
afraid of the Society or you might be idolizing the society or
various other things.
From what I have come across, people
have this view on Society - "It is illogical, but we can't go against it". Now
this puts me in a lot of dilemma. We call ourselves advanced and we
can't even figure out as to whether these illogical things actually mean
something or not.
What I am gonna do in the next few posts
is to try and make some ends meet and try to come to some conclusion bout this
illogical thing.
I would need ur feedback to further
develop this issue.
I am sure all of
us have, atleast once in our life, thought of Society as a barrier and
have had our views (mostly) against it. I will try and see if this particular
thought can be given good weight or is it just a state of the mind.
2.The Roots
How the Society began
is as stupid a question as asking "How did relationships begin".
Its so very elementary. It was an act of
utmost selflessness (atleast it was supposed to be). The society was supposed to
protect everything that was moral and punish
the others.
All in all, the Society was to create a
safer next generation so that they could become what
the then-generation thought was right and safe and so that the path
they thought was right would be followed.
I must say that to some extent the words
(the untold words, actually) of the Society are Law in some places and in some
places they are even worshipped as holy rules.
But sooner or later, everyone of the new
generation starts questioning the basis of what the society professes. In some
ways, the Society comprises of people who are generally experienced in matters
of Life and have done well in their personal lives.
You must understand that what you think
of the society is something very much your own. There is no Society in its
physical form. Its just a thing that exists and which governs a lot of things,
at times.
People are scared to against the Society
coz it wud harm someone or the other and they feel that it would be wrong
to do this coz the Society thinks it is wrong.
Is this logical ?? Well, in some cases
it is, but in many cases, it is wrong too.
So, what do you do, listen to the
Society or not ?
Well, its finally your decision but I
wanted to dig deeper into the psychology of this Society.
I am gonna start writing on the core of
the subject from the next chapter
onwards.
Let's see.
3."The Moral Police" ??
Well, it had to come
down to this comparison you know. The Society does invariably create an
atmosphere of limits for us (the ppl of the society) to live within and
to make sure we don't cross them. But the greatest irony is that time and again
these lines have been redrawn coz it so happens that mostly one individual
crosses the line, goes across it, and finds that there was no reason to stay
behind the lines all these years and then after some deep thinking the
society finally opens its eyes and redraws the lines, putting the new ones just
in front of the position where the individual has just got to. I mean, there
still is this tendency for the society to act safe and limit
things as much as possible. No doubt its good to be safe but only if it really
is an issue. I mean, some of the norms of the society (though untold, but their
existence isn't even doubted) are so illogical that u feel like you are in those
old times that u wud have probably heard of from your grandparents. Sure things
have moved on but some things are still clinging on to old times without any
reason.
The problem arises when an individual
actually comes across a scenario in which one sees that it is beneficial to be
on the other side of the line and it is logical too !!
Yet, because of the society, one general
does hold back and in some cases u actually start blaming yourself that u took
steps that led to such closeness to these holy lines. What crap
!!
I mean just coz the norms have stood the
test of time doesn't mean that they are right and should be upheld at
all times. It might just b that no one ever saw the other side of the line and
no one ever bothered to do so.
What one must do at such times is to
think as to what would happen if he/she crosses the line and enters into the
other side, irrespective of the society. That is, what would the other side
be like, assuming that what the society says isn't important.
It is sometimes beneficial to ignore the
society and at times the society leaves u with no other choice. Either give up
and become another brick in the wall or else, stand up for urself and
rather be The Gladiator and fight off the sticky society and open their
eyes, or better still, just do what u feel is right and don't give a damn about
the society. Deep down everyone feels that yes, the society is just a gas-bag
and there is no weight in what it says, yet whenever someone other than us tries
to cross the lines, we immediately (rather spontaneously) blame him/her
for being careless and ask him/her to step back.
Now this really is
hypocrisy. This isn't how the system should work. One should atleast try
to practice what one preaches. But I guess that's how it works. I am talking in
general about societies all over the globe, though I must confess that I am
taking instances and inspiration from the state of society around me.
4.The Hard Facts
Ok everybody, put on
your seatbelts, we r gonna go thru some turbulence soon. I know I should have
given examples of things I was talking about but I was a bit unsure as to
whether I would be able to put them down in an uncontroversial fashion.
But I think, this being a blog, I shouldn't bother much about that. So I will
just lay before u all the hard facts. The examples, that is.
These are general citings from day to day lives and from reliable
sources. U might not agree whole-heartedly with the issues but please bear in
mind that u cannot simply say that it doesn't happen anymore. Most of the
examples do refer to the Indian Society (urban) in general but I am not going to
point out any references.
Say a person has decided to start a business of his (I hope I am not offending
the female readers by using the male sex in my examples. If so, I apologize
whole-heartedly) own and it is not considered a safe job in and around his
neighborhood. Now say this guy actually doesn't do well initially in his
business. Believe me, the society is gonna gun this guy down with things like
"We had warned u but u never bothered. Now u r suffering" or "this is what
happens when u don't listen to others". No one would even bother to listen to
his side of the story and they will discourage him to such an extent that he
will have no one to listen to.
This is very common even in some academic scenarios where the student would like
to go ahead say in commerce or pure sciences. I know a few of u won't believe
this but I have even heard things like "My daughter wants to do medicine but I
want her to do Engineering" or even better "My daughter is interested in
medicine but I am interested in Engineering". What the hell man. Can't someone
even decide his/her academic interests ?? I mean, its obvious that if u r good
at ur work u will do well in ur field, whatever it be. And if u have an interest
in something, it is quite obvious that u will put in some decent efforts into
it. Isn't it better than atleast pushing students around ??
And look at these so called educational institutes that offer coaching for
students who wanna go into IITs. Well, I was a victim too but the fact is that
you don't simply go to a place coz everyone is going there. I would not only
blame the parents of the students involved but its the entire organization of
parents here. One says to the other "yes, its quite good. They keep them busy
there", and this much is enough to seal the poor guy/gal's fate. Integrated
colleges (offering coaching for IIT/Eamcet and regular college) have timings as
severe as 7-7 !!Now is it just me who thinks that this is unfair or is there
anyone else who would like to voice for this injustice. I mean, 12 hrs !!!!!!!!
Cmon, what is this madness. Of course the kids use their own means to get out of
these things. They simply don't pay attention in the class. And do you know how
boring the lectures get. The lecturers are supposed to teach almost 70-80
students at one go and they are teaching stuff as fundoo as stereo-chemistry or
calculus or rotational dynamics. Please, gimme a break. These are topics that
need a lot of concentration. I don't wanna go further into the educational
system of India now. I could dedicate a whole blog to that !!
Another very common thing: Marriage. Say someone is not ready for marriage and
rather wants to first establish his /her job well. But no. The parents get into
stupid arguments "We know wats good for u. U r still very young". If that's so,
why do u wanna get him/her married. Let em grow up first !! And this is where
the entire neighborhood creeps in. "Is there something that you are hiding", or
"are u seeing someone else". My god. Things get crappy.
And what about when someone finally finds his/her soulmate. Man, there is not
one person in the society who thinks that what he/she wants to do is right. Its
always "your parents will b very hurt. They have done so much for u, is this how
u repay them". Now, u won't believe this but there are some poor souls who
actually don't even get close to the opposite sex (friendship even) just bcpz of
this nonsense. I know u find this crazy but believe me, I know such ppl first
hand !! The thing is, maybe their parents have no such restrictions in their
mind but just bcoz of the society they don't agree and they get manipulated. Is
this right ? Is this even in the least possible way logical ??
And when someone rejects a job coz he/she doesn't actually find it matching with
his/her interests. Its like "maybe the pay wasn't good", "he/she is a fool to
reject such a good job" etc. I mean it becomes suffocating.
In many states of India having friends of the opposite sex is considered bad.
Seriously, it is because of such a response that things never achieve a just
position in reality. How could friendship be bad. Its because ppl still believe
(I know u r gonna shout at me for this) that ppl of the opposite sex can't be
just friends. I mean, if u don't accept the facts, how will things change. How
will the truth come out in the light. It was partly because of this that I
didn't wanna directly quote examples coz I don't know if ppl are willing to
voice their feelings and stand by them. Though most of u will agree vth me but u
will not want to put ur thoughts out. Well, I just hope that ppl come out vth
their feelings and throw away this curtain of darkness from the society and
bring into light the truth that has been imprisoned for so long and
might soon become extinct. Maybe we could start a new project for this. "Save
the truth", how's that ;)
Well, to a certain extent, its the generation gap that causes this
imbalance in views and well, come tomorrow, we will be the "old generation" and
it just might be us causing all this trouble all over again. Are we ready to
change the future or are we gonna be just like any other generation and maintain
this generation gap. Will we able to make a change and respect the truth for
what is. I am sorry, but I don't see that happening. Not at this rate anyways.
God bless us everyone.
"All in all its just another brick in the wall"
- Pink Floyd
5.Possible Causes
I want to put an end
to this series for now but I will forever be under the sarcasm of this topic
almost whenever I blog or write. That, my friends, is the power of Sarcasm :))
Well, surely the society has its
positives too. I mean its the society with which we share our successes, joys
and happy moments. We, in some ways, return to it. But I ain't gonna go
into the positives of The Society. My main job was to get the negatives across,
which I think I did in the previous post.
Now, when I say causes I am referring to
causes of Why the society has the negative traits that I wrote of yesterday.
Well, to begin with (and as I had
pointed out yesterday), a major reason is The Generation Gap. I really
dunno if this problem can be solved coz its kinda recursive ( lines from
a very fundoo signature - "I can't understand recursion, coz I can't
understand recursion" ;) ). We may be blaming the Generation Gap, but we
will be the cause of it soon and once we are at the other end of it, I don't
think we will realize that we are causing this problem.
The thing is, each generation has its
own morals which need not be true for the next generation. And looking
at the way the things are changing in this dynamic world, there is no
doubt that the views of the two generations are really wide-apart. Whether this
gap is resolvable or not, u decide. My personal opinion - "It can never be fully
resolved, unless we have a generation that's endlessly tolerable."
Another reason is the bossing-around
attitude that a few ppl have. This is when ppl poke their nose into everyone's
business and give their advices (un-asked for) in issues they have no idea of,
but just to achieve a satisfaction of authority. Well, such ppl exist
in almost all parts of towns. The problem deepens when ppl of this sort come
together and start preaching their ideals. The only way this
problem can be resolved is if either these ppl realize their own mistake or
others gang up against such ppl and make them realize their mistakes.
Another cause is the so called
spreadism (coined by me just now ;) ). This is when the epidemic starts to
spread, or when the fire begins to take the entire forest down. Confused ?
Its quite simple. If a problem starts in
some corner of a place, it easily gains momentum and spreads if it isn't checked
initially. U c, there is this strange observation that bad things generally
spread faster and wider than the good things. U can find many instances of this
thing around u. I think I will be able to give one whole post on this issue.
There could b
various other causes but these r the ones that r in my mind rite now.
6.Concluding Remarks
Well, this is gonna b
the end to this long drawn first series of blog and though I didn't get many
responses, I must confess that I would have felt incomplete without
blogging about this and a few more things, which I will do soon.
The thing is that though the Society has
been in existence for as long as humanity has (well, almost), one must
understand that like every other thing, there is something called change
that is necessary and it must be bought on from time to time. Change is the
only certainty.
An old generation has to give in to a
new one and with it, it must handover its thoughts and must trust the younger
generation to choose from those thoughts as it wishes.
I am sure that there is always some
fear when a new thing comes into power, but that's the way things work
around us.
Personally, The Society will always be
my favorite punching-bag and though I don't deny my own involvement in
it, I will certainly say that some dynamism is required in it.
I hope it comes
soon, coz time is flying away quickly. The clock is
ticking.