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--- 293-03 0033b 4.5 ----------------------------------------------------- Selected-By: jonmon@cadence.com

The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:

> What did the Tibetan monk say to the hot dog vendor?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} The most famous exchange between a lama and a hot dog vendor occurred
} one block south of Times Square in July 1988.
}
}     Hot Dog Vendor: What can I get for ya today?  Footlong
}                     with the works?  I said, what can I get
}                     for ya today?  Hey, ya wanna hot dog or
}                     not?  Listen if yer not going to order
}                     willya move on, I gotta business to run.
}                     Stop starin' at me, man.  And wipe that
}                     silly grin off yer face.  Say something,
}                     dammit, yer givin' me the creeps.  Hey,
}                     I get it.  Ya don't any English, do ya?
}                     Uh, lessee, yo, uh, tengo los, uh, hot
}                     dogs, uh, perros calientes.  Okay, fine!
}                     just stand there.  See if I care.  Just
}                     don't scare away the customers.  Jeez.
}                     Forget it.  Ya wanna Coke?  Coca-cola?
}                     I don't care where yer from, ya gotta
}                     understand "Coca-cola".  Coca-cola?
}                     Stop smiling.  People'll think yer up
}                     to something.  Hey, I got all-beefs,
}                     beef-n-porks, turkey dogs, polish
}                     sausage, and kielbasa.  You can get
}                     ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise, relish,
}                     pickles, or onions on them.  I've got
}                     plain and whole grain buns.  I don't
}                     care what you want, just order something
}                     or leave.  I'm serious, man, if you don't
}                     go away, I'll call the cops and have them
}                     arrest you for loitering.  Jesus Christ,
}                     will you stop staring at me!  STOP IT!
}                     At least blink once in a while.  You're
}                     driving me crazy!  You wanna Coke?  Wait,
}                     no, I already tried that.  Listen, man,
}                     I'm serious, stop starin' and grinnin' at
}                     me.  I gotta gun under the counter.  I'll
}                     use it.  I mean it.  STOP STARING AT ME!
}                     STOP IT!  STOP IT!  STOPITSTOPITSTOPIT!
}                     YOU'RE DRIVING ME CRAZY!  AAAAARGH!
}                     STOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPIT!  PLEASE LOOK
}                     AWAY!  HERE!  OKAY!  I'M MAKING YOU A
}                     HOT DOG FOR FREE!  TAKE IT!  EAT IT!
}                     JUST GO AWAY!  STOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPIT!
}                     YOU WANNA COKE?  OKAY!  HERE'S A COKE!
}                     IT'S ON THE HOUSE!  NOW PLEASE GO AWAY!
}                     I CAN'T TAKE ANY MORE OF THIS!  YOUR
}                     EYES ARE DRIVING ME INSANE!  PLEASE
}                     STOPITSTOPITSTOPISTOPSTOPSTOPSTOPSTOPSTOPSTOPSTOP!
}
}             Then the lama widened his grin just enough to barely show
}             his teeth.  At that moment the hot dog vendor was
}             enlightened.
}
} You owe the Oracle a better koan.  And a new deli.