The Original Poems of the Day

The Very First Poem of the Day! Written Some Time During Spring 1989

Flowers are nice.
They don't smell like rice.
They look very sweet,
So don't smoosh them with your feet.

Written Some Time During Spring 1989 (1)

Bows are cool,
You wear them in your hair.
You look like a fool,
But you don't care.

Written Some Time During Spring 1989 (2)

Roses are red.
Pine trees are green.
Something exploded,
I think it's my spleen.

Written Some Time During 1990

There once were some students playing Mao1,
When one of them turned into a cow.
Since nothing could be said,
They kept playing instead.
And the cow won Mao and took a bow.

November 28, 1990

Markers and erasers:
The power condensers.
They make every fool an artist,
And every idiot a censor!

January 22, 1991

I came,
I saw,
I thunked,
I flunked.

April 19, 1991 (rerun on November 20, 1991)

Global warming is fun,
Weather has no reason.
Is it summer, winter, spring, or fall,
Or rainy, dry, or monsoon season?

Earth Day Poem of the Day - April 22, 1991

This is your Earth;
You won't get another.
Trashing her home
Is no way to treat your mother!

April 26, 1991

There once was a student called "Roupen."
Whose grasp of the environment wasn't super-doopen.
"You Hippies," he said,
"Are better off dead!"
(Ten years later they died with Roupen in toxic soupen.)

Poem of the Day from Some Time During SGA Elections - May 1991

Vote for Rev. Xmos
For SGA President.
He'll be bold and decisive;
He won't be hesitant.

Another Poem of the Day from Elections - May 1991

Vote for Rev. Xmos
For SGA Treasurer.
Taking your money
Gives him lots of pleasure(r).

Guess What? Another Election Poem of the Day - May 1991

In the school election,
Vote for Rev. Xmos.
He's the politician
That has sex most.

May 14, 1991

Today there is no poem.
But I don't know why.
I hope this doesn't make you moan,
Or worse, make you cry.

May 15, 1991

Formerly Matias and we,
Had a white board schism.
But he drew Bush, and he's a great artist,
Even though he lacks talent in poetry criticism.

Mr. Walstein's Birthday Poem of the Day - May 17, 1991

Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday Mr. Walstein,
You work in a zoo.

How old are you now?
It's easy to figure out.
Count the stories. Divide by thirty.
That's your age without a doubt.

If you got on the Giants,
You'd be bashing in heads.
But you didn't get on the Giants,
So you beat on us instead.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
Rev. Xmos says,
"Happy Birthday to you!"

The First Published Poem of the Day - Published in the May 23, 1991 Silver Chips2

Newspapers are useful,
They get your hands all black.
You can make hats, boats, and fires,
And housebreak a yak.

May 24, 1991

Tired of conventional communication? Sick of Silver Chips boosters because they don't make sense? Well suffer no longer, Poem of the Day Boosters are here! All you have to do is a give a piece of paper to Ms. Wiz that details what you are trying to say, the number of lines you want, and how you want to display the poem. We'll write a Poem of the Day quality poem for you!

You have your choice of display methods:

Written on this or another board
Posted on an EBB
Laser printed and hand delivered to the Blairite of your choice

The low price is 25 cents per line plus 50 cents for each additional display method.

An example: Please write a poem to Mr. Gainous3 telling him how much I love him. Say it is from Sue Ellen. Four lines. Put it on the study hall board.

From Sue Ellen:
Oh, Mr. Gainous, Mr. Gainous!
I love the manly way you lead the school.
Misguided folks find your reign heinous,
But I love every strict masculine rule.

June 4, 1991

We bid adieu,
With a tear,
To those seniors
We hold dear.
They are feeling
Adulation.
Free at last of
High school stagnation.
But they should heed
Adults that discourse
On how the rest of life
Is ten times worse.

May 29, 1991

You sophomores may be apprehensive
About wading through shark urine.
But mud and swamps are nothing,
Compared to living with Mark Curran.

June 5, 1991

If you're a senior, you shouldn't be here.
If you're a junior, you're the top class.
If you're a sophomore, you have R&E 3 to fear
. If you're a freshman, you're still . . . pond scum.

June 7, 1991

Our average poem is for the homme moyem sensuel4,
But Rev. Xmos has entered an intellectual furor poeticus5.
He will be aut Caesar aut nihil6.
Credo quia absurdom est7.

September 3, 1991

School is back,
And so are we,
To both compound,
Your misery.

September 5, 1991

Do you like this poem so much
That you would want to write an essay
About how it influenced your life?
No? Well write one any way!

September 24, 1991

All your work for three years
Is condensed into a number.
The bigger that the number is,
The more that you are dumber.

October 1, 1991

Yearbook costs are up by a third.
Colleges are up by seven percent.
Poems of the Day cost twenty times more,
Causing accretion and structuralized unemployment.

October 10, 1991

Write an essay about your birth.
Copy your social security number 200 times.
This is how to get into Xmos U.
I added this line because it rhymes.

October 11, 1991

A date! She said Yes!
You're glad you dared this,
Cause you're the happiest guy in the world,
As well as the scaredest.

October 14, 1991

The strange voiced meteorologists have been replaced
By the normal sounding Doug Anderson.
Oh, Roy Luckzinger, Toni Minalti, Mark Swain,
We'll miss you at 936-1111.

October 16, 1991

The freshmen had two hours
To prove they were functional.
And the rest of us could be
Two hours unpunctual.

October 18, 1991

If you cut your brain in half,
Along the corpus callosum,
There would be twice as many of you,
But each would be twice as dumb.

October 25, 1991

If you look inside a swamp,
You will find dead things, leeches, and detritus.
But you can find the same things,
If you take Calculus.

In Memory of Gene Rodenberry8 - October 28, 1991

This poem is dedicated to Romulans,
Androids, and Klingons quite hairy.
Death is but the final journey
If you're a genius named Gene Rodenberry.

November 6, 1991

Camus9 writes about Sisyphus's10 woes,
Invalids, strangers, and lancing buboes.
Xmos writes about asphalt, spleens,
Functional math tests, maladjusted teens.
Xmos's poems are written just to be erased,
Camus continued, although lacking in taste.
So which in fact is more futile or absurd,
Xmos's verses, or Camus's word?

Epic Poem of the Day(s)

Verses one and two from October 30, 1991
Verse three from November 1, 1991
Verse four from November 8, 1991
There once was a pregnant lady
Who couldn't think of a name for her baby.
Tom, Dick, and Harry
Sounded too ordinary.
So did Bob, Paul, John, and Brady.

"Why? Oh, why can't I think of a name?
Every one I hear sounds just the same.
James, Jeff, and Morris
Mabel and Doris;
Even Roupen sounds kind of lame."

Boris, Xavier, or Donald.
Bubba, Gertrude, or Archibald.
Maybe Mohammed
Petula or Ned.
Jean-Paul, Horatio or Reginald.

So she thought and she thought
Until a name she got.
You think I am going to tell you;
I'm not.

November 19, 1991

Please come to Xmos U,
We will probably accept you.
Just fill out two hundred pages,
It should only take three ice ages.

November 21, 1991

People bury their mothers,
Communicate with one another,
Cure diseases,
Leave Dublin if they please,
Take loans without marital schism!
Aren't you glad life's not like realism?

Thanksgiving Poem of the Day - December 2, 1991

Were you, this last Thanksgiving,
A discriminate food taster?
Or, rather, did you apply
Eggnog11 to your mouth with a turkey baster?

Senior Skip Day Poem of the Day - December 3, 1991

Many Seniors today have a disease
For which there seems to be no vaccine.
But, fortunately, it lasts only a day,
And is only terminal if you have Mr. Walstein.

December 4, 1991

Since this is a half day,
The poem will be somewhat shorter,

December 5, 1991

If I had a single wish,
I would be a jellyfish.
Oh how I would squish!
Oh, what joy! Oh, what blish!

December 6, 1991

Thursday I was filled with pep
When our basketball team, their shots kept muffing.
If the other team did not show up,
We might win two to nothing.

College Applications Suck Poem of the Day - December 16, 1991

The application for Xmos U
Is due at seven pm.
But don't worry, you have a few hours
Before you start your essay on phlegm
(And how it changed your life).12

December 17, 1991

When you scribble garbage on something beautiful,
That's graffiti most garish.
When you scribble garbage on something ugly,
That's graffiti most Blairish.

December 19, 1991

Santa Claus is coming to your residence
To bring you lots and lots of presents.
Maybe this year he'll bring you crescents,
Or pheasants, or peasants, or breath mints.
(Not that you need them.)

December 20, 1991

Twas the day before winter break,
And all through the school,
Not a student was thinking,
Not even Mehul . . .

January 2, 1992

As we come back from vacation,
And return to our lovely school,
Remember this is the first year of the rest of your lifeÑ
Do your best not to drool!

January 6, 1992

There once was a Maryland dude,
Who needed his license renewed.
He waited all day,
At the MVA13,
After which he became slightly unglued.

January 8, 1992

There once was a young lad named Ben,
Who complained bitterly to his pal Ken:
"I don't know which is meaner,
Functional writing tests or seniors,
Both of them like to torture freshmen."

Alma Mater Poem of the Day14 - January 10, 1992

By old Sligo's stinking waters,
Brutal slopes of tar,
Imprison as their deepest chagrin,
Alma Gainous Czar.
We thy students shall be looters,
Criminals Confess!
Always keep thy name notorious,
And thy horror fresh.
As the teachers give us homework,
Twice our share of tests,
Countless students shall here suffer,
Shall curse this stinking mess.
Curse thee roundly, curse thee fairly,
Curse thee if they dare.
Death to thee our Alma Mater,
Death Montgomery Blair!

January 14, 199215

There once were a couple of fish,
Who wanted a non-trophic relationship.
But, when Haddock met Salmon
There was quite a famine,
So Haddock made Salmon his dish.

January 17, 1992

Damn,
Damn,
Damn,
Exams!

January 23, 1992

If you have an A and an A, you must get a C.
If you have an A and a D, you must get a D.
If you have an A and a B, you must get an A.
But who cares? You're going to fail any way.

January 28, 1992

Congratulations to our Westinghouse winners!
For great titles, we salute you.
Like Effects of Death on a Rat Carbidopsychidintomichostomanners.
And we liked the cheesecake too.

January 31, 199216

If your brain is kind of busy,
It's a problem you can fix.
Let Xmos do it for you,
Read poem sixty sicks.

February 5, 199217

Roses are Red,
Violets are purple.
If you want something that rhymes,
You shouldn't use orange.

Mehul's First Poem of the Day - February 6, 1992

Life can begin by anyone,
Even by a man named Hector.
But you should always remember,
Death is the final victor.

An Ode to Mr. Bundy18 - February 10, 1992

The magnet has a little man.
His fleece is white as snow.
And in his class we have a blast,
E - I - E - I - O.

Make it Snow Poem - Works Every Time! (once) - February 12, 1992

Snow is cold, snow is white.
Snow is maybe, snow is might.
When it snows, the world is right.
Snow tomorrow, snow tonight!!

Valentine's Day Poem of the Day - Second Published Poem of the Day - Published in the February 14, 1992 Silver Chips - February 14, 1992

I love your hair and lovely eyes,
I love your laugh and witty jests,
I love your hands and winsome smile,
I love your face and pretty vests19.

Presidents' Day Poem of the Day - February 18, 1992

Georgie Washing, Cherry Pie,
Kissed the girls, made Martha cry.
Abie Lincoln wore a beard,
In a log cabin he was reared.

The Effects of a Dead Meter upon the Poem of the Day - February 25, 1992

If you love the sight of sweaty palms,
Explosions, cursing, or pulling hair,
Perhaps you need professional help,
Or might enjoy visiting Blair's science fair.

February 27, 1992

If today you have a test,
You should try to do your best.
If you have three,
You should try to catch a fatal disease.

March 3, 1992

There's something in the air,
That makes it hard to care
About math and science fare.
(Or essays to compare)
Bye, Blair.

March 4, 199220

The sweat, the tears, the laughs, the jeers,
Why can't out math team (which is the best)
Solve the Maryland Math League test?

March 8, 1992

You're not quite sure where you're going
When your world is blanketed in fog.
It's sort of like living in London,
Or better, like living in a bog.
. . . Living in eggnog
. . . Turning into a frog
. . . Being stupid as a log
. . . Being breathed on by a dog

Sanjaya's First Poem of the Day - March 9, 1992

God, my nose is running,
Pouring like a tap.
Disgusting slime is flowing,
Clear and sticky, just like sap.

Guest Poem of the Day - "Noise" by Winnie The Pooh - March 10, 1992

Oh, the butterflies are flying,
Now the winter days are dying,
And the primroses are trying
to be seen.

And the turtle-doves are cooing,
And the woods are up and doing,
For the violets are blue-ing
in the green.

Oh, the honey-bees are gumming
On their little winds, and humming
That the summer, which is coming,
will be fun.

And the cows are almost cooing,
And the turtle-doves are mooing,
Which is why a Pooh is poohing,
in the sun.

For the spring is really springing;
You can see a skylark singing,
And the blue-bells, which are ringing,
can be heard.

And the cuckoo isn't cooing,
But he's cucking and he's ooing,
And a Pooh is simply poohing
like a bird.

Friday the 13th Poem of the Day - March 13, 1992

A black cat
Will cross your path.
You will break a mirror.
You will step on sidewalk cracks
Making your mother land on her rear.
You favorite pet will run away.
Godzilla and King Kong will eat your car.
If you think it's going to be your lucky day,
Just remember where you are21.

March 16, 1992

There once was a man named Frost,
Where ever he drove, he got lost.
He headed towards Baltimore,
And arrived in Ecuador.
Before he realized he missed the exit at Dusseldost.

Saint Patrick's Day Poem of the Day - March 17, 1992

Today is the day we celebrate Ireland,
Gaelic songs and national strife,
Four leaf weeds and lovely Dublin;
Folks who beat snakes and beat their wife,
People who's heads are covered with skin,
James Joyce and a fondness for drinking beer;
People who see little green men.
Why don't we just celebrate some place like Algiers.

March 19, 1992

Congratulations! You got into Xmos U!
On March 23 your reply is due.
But if you also applied to Ivy Xmos College,
They won't your acceptance till April 12 acknowledge.

March 20, 1992

The teachers, they have disappeared,
And now the substitutes are here.
Is this something we should cheer,
Or rather something we should fear?
Are they plotting, scheming, hiding near?

March 24, 1992

The overhead roll,
The modern scroll.
Fun to deface,
But hard to erase.

March 26, 199222

To be a champion,
You gotta gota Taco Bell,
You gotta wanna Pepsi,
But you do not hafta spell.

The Physics Team Kicks Butt Poem of the Day - March 30, 1992

The mousetrap car went very far,
But not as far as Damascus;
A great bridge was done; the egg drop won;
And the boxer shorts? Quite Erusmus!23

April 1, 1992

Beginning in April we will be putting up some serious poetry. As we face the future, and impending graduation, we find that we can not persist by frivolity alone.

I am a hawk
Flying in the wilderness of your heart
The sun glistens off the lake and
I find I am but a stinkbug
Reviled Reviled!
Tell me dear one, do you find it cruel
For me to crouch and wait,
To jump out and shout "April Fool?"

April 2, 1992

As the marking period draws to a close,
The stress grows, and grows, and grows.
The teachers must be crazy I suppose.
And I'm failin' in poetry and I'm failin' in prose.

April 9, 199224

You can't call the British Queen Ms.
Tain't as nice as Elizabeth is.
But I think that the queen
Would be even less keen
To have herself mentions as Ls.

April 10, 1992

Daylight savings time is back again,
Thus sending our selected schedules into shock.
Our nights are shorter, and our days will lengthen,
And our VCRs will start blinking one o'clock.

April 13, 1992

I think that the science fair lost something
When skill took over from circumstance.
Sure, BZ Reactions may win all the prizes,
But I still miss the effect of sunlight on plants.

April 15, 199225

Whenever I read Chaucer I fall asleep.
I guess that must be because he's so deep.

May 7, 199226

There is much in the month of May to give a poet pause:
You can see the pretty birds and hear the flowers sing and chide!
Well, at least that's what I assume because
There's so much work in May that I never go outside.

Philip's First Poem of the Day - May 11, 1992

The sun came back, Yippie!
I was worried a lot, you see.
For last week was wet and wild,
When the weatherman had said mild.

May 11, 1992

April showers bring May flowers;
May flowers bring stinging bees.

May 13, 1992

Hi, ho, hi, ho,
It's off to school we go.
Don't ask me why, I do not know,
Hi, ho, hi, ho, hi, ho, hi, ho.

May 14, 199227

Color is nice.
So is ice.
We have color!
We don't have ice.

May 15, 199228

Yearbooks are neat.
I like green food,
But not green meat.
This poem is not rude.

May 18, 199229

Alas, we are sophomoreless!
I will miss their idle raucous gab.
But, well, they take a lot of upkeep,
And make "messes" in the computer lab.

The Third and Fourth Published Poems of the Day - May 20, 1992

I used to think about assignments
Weeks before they were due.
Recently, until the night before,
My mind would turn into glue.
Now until about midnight
The project will I shirk.
Why didn't anyone tell me that having
A senior slump would be so much work?

The college sent me a letter.
It said I must keep up my grades.
It's a beautiful day outside,
But I am stuck here working in Hades.

An Unnecessary Statement30 - May 21, 1992

Pubic art is an opening for the artist or group of artists to confuse a society which does not realize that you are awakening them to modern conflicts. The poets of the day choose to demonstrate a problem that we feel needs to be addressed: tuxedo rentals.


		I think
					I am
							A yam

The tuxedoed penguin is sucking the purple life from the green free form personality on the right. The person is further being harmed by the heat of the sun (tuxedos are very hot). The person is, in fact, constricted to being a baked vegetable, the yam. The blue toad is the oppressive costs of even the cheapest tux.

International Poem of the Day31 - May 22, 1992

Les fleurs sont charmantes.
Elles n'ont pas une odeur comme le riz.
Elles ont l'air vraiment doux,
Alors, ne les ecrasez pas avec les pieds.