| 121 |  |
--: This is
exactly the same story. Exactly the same! --: (over this) You’ve just taken out the Disco King and replaced him with this Soul Brother person… DIRK: (over this) Well, he’s dead, he died in the street— --: New story! DIRK: Hey! (everyone stops talking ) Everyone get over here. I’ve got something to say! |
| 122 |  |
DIRK: Now
listen here. I’m sick and tired of everyone putting down my stories. I realize that
they haven’t always been easy to listen to. They’re not always romantic or
heroic. They’re not pretty! But real life isn’t pretty! Floods, earthquakes,
flossing, sunsets—life just isn’t pretty! And even if my stories aren’t the
best stories ever told, I think I deserve my chance to tell them without being interrupted
and ignored! --: (timidly) But this story is just like the last one— DIEK: Oh, really? If it’s just like the last one then what’s going to happen next, hmm? --: In the last one, there was a guy who went into a bookstore… DIRK: And what’s going to happen next? --: And he got run over by a red car. (murmurs of assent: "Yeah." "Red car.") DIRK: And you think that’s going to happen again. --: Um, yeah. DIRK: That is ridiculous. What a terrible story that would be—I’m shocked that you think I would tell such a bad story! There is no red car in this story, gentlemen, no red car is coming to recklessly mow down the life of our hero, ending his days wihtout the slightest hint of foreshadowing, no no NO! --: Sorry. (muttered apologies) Go ahead. |
| 123 |  |
DIRK: So he gets hit by a blue car. |
| 124 |  |
KEVIN:
That’s it. I’m telling a story now. An important story, about an important
historical figure. A man of real genius, one you’ve probably all heard of. --: A true story! --: My story was true… --: Who’s it about? KEVIN: A stupendous artiste. A magnifico composer, most inspired of his time. You have probably never heard about his darker side. The horror, the horror… |
| 125 |  |
Note—The Narrator for this story has a clipped, British, documentary style. |
| 126 |  |
|
| 127 |  |
|
| 128 |  |
NARRATOR: George Frederic Handbag was born in 1685 in a small country hamlet near Lugwigshafen. |
| 129 |  |
The son of Greek immigrant hatblockers, his talent for music was discovered at an early age when, on his sixth birthday, he composed his own eight-part fugue for autoharp and pan flute. |
| 130 |  |
NARRATOR: George Frederic was quickly summoned to the court of George the First of England and the largest music halls of Europe. Maestro Handbag was showered with awards and appointments, including the prestigious Masonic Oratorio Knighthood, second runner-up. |