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CONSORT
(Thom): (unintelligible high-pitched babbling) GEORGE (Steve): (amongst this) But--… no--… please--… (etc.) |
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NARRATOR: (slowly falling out of his dispassionate narrator role and becoming hysterical, while ignoring the action in the frames) She never understood his work. She didn’t understand artists! Artists slave away to turn out beautiful work, but they are the dregs of society. George, everyone misunderstood you. |
| 143 |  |
SFX: A
frying-pan sucker-punch NARRATOR: They ignored your pain. |
| 144 |  |
NARRATOR: But I know what you suffered! All I wanted, all I’ve dreamed of since I was a little boy, was narrating a documentary on my hero, George Frederic Handbag. But the slop I’ve had to narrate before they’d let me! I did Auschwitz, I did Pullman cars, I did the flipping Trail of Tears! |
| 145 |  |
NARRATOR: I even narrated a GM training film, in the lean days, but now, now that I’ve paid my dues and wheedled and begged and finally got a Handbag documentary off the ground, am I getting any credit for it? Am I getting a lousy percentage point? I’m doing the whole bleeding thing for peanuts! |
 |
SFX: Needle pulling
off a record At this point, the projectors are turned off so that two new slide trays can be swapped in. DIRK ROWLEY: Uh, can I say something here? I don't really think documentary people go this crazy, I don't think narrators really do this. And quite frankly, it makes me look stupid--it makes me look stupid. THOM, SHAWN, and STEVE: Dirk... DIRK: And really, you've kinda made me look stupid the entire time now that I think about it. Look at this script! I have to read this stuff, and it's always me who has to read it! Look, wait...first you make me do all the voices, you make me do every single voice, but then, when it comes to actually telling stories--you make me tell lame stories, in the woods! THOM: Dirk, it's 7 to 12. We've been here for hours and hours-- DIRK: No kidding! THOM: --and you've done such a good job so far... DIRK: I'm sick of this, I'm sick of this whole Mizpah thing--you never let me go to any of the meetings back when I was in school--anytime you needed something narrated, sure, there I was, but now, now, I don't get to read good lines, I don't even get to tell good stories! THOM: Will it make you feel any better if we leave...? SHAWN: Can you finish it if we leave? Is that okay? DIRK: Okay, just--go--go down to Hardee's. Bring me back a bacon double cheeseburger or something. STEVE: Dirk, calm down, be productive. DIRK: (as the OTHERS leave) I cannot believe the hoops they make me jump through. SFX: Door slams |
|
| 146 |  |
With the slam,
the slides return, along with DIRK's professional British NARRATOR voice. NARRATOR: But even in the depths of his despair… |
| 147 |  |
NARRATOR: …George Frederic knew, in his trampled heart of hearts, that he could always escape into his one recourse-- |
| 148 |  |
NARRATOR: --his
night life. MUSIC: A Fifth Of Beethoven by The Big Apple |
| 149 |  |
MUSIC: Heavily discofied classical music continues throughout |
| 150 |  |